Humor Him
by Turn Back Now
Summary: Deidara is hiding from Tobi and gets an annoyed email from Hidan about a certain orange-masked ninja running around yelling for his Sempai. I promise, the story is way better than the summary. T for language. TobiDei/DeiTobi


**Hey guys! I randomly decided to make a TobiDei/DeiTobi oneshot for absolutely no reason! :D I don't have much to say here, seeing as its only 11:00 PM right now and I'm dead without caffeine or sugar. (Daddy temporarily stealed Ame-chan's leftover Halloween candy and won't make poor Ame-chan anything with coffee in it.) But this story is mainly dedicated to xXGoody Not-So-Great MeXx because she's recently been obsessed with this pairing. I hope you like this hon, because I wrote it for you.**

**Hope you guys enjoy. I don't own Naruto, so please leave me and the almost non existent amount of money I have alone. :D**

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"Deidara-Sempai! Deidara-Sempai! Deidara-Sempai! Deidara-Sempai!" Tobi called repeatedly, running in circles around the base of a large tree, looking for the blond bomber.

Deidara's eye twitched. He was hiding up on the highest branch that was strong enough to hold him, half his explosive animal buddies he made whilst up there, a bag of clay, and a laptop. He was hiding from the orange-masked ninja, who was currently searching under the small rocks and leaves down below him.

"Sempaaaaaai? Where aaaaaare you?!" He sang.

The blond rolled his eyes and opened his laptop. With any luck, Tobi would get tired and leave soon. He signed into his email, immediately seeing a new message from Hidan, sent only a few minutes ago. He clicked on it. The Jashinist usually didn't use his email unless he really, _really_ needed to.

'_hey deidara'_ It said, _'is there any chance that you could make tobi shut the fuck up? im trying to do a ritual here and that little piece of shit is right outside my jashin damned window. dont pretend I cant see you hiding up there. make him go the hell away or ill sacrifice both of you to jashin-sama.'_

Deidara raised an eyebrow and looked in the general direction of Hidan's room to see the silver haired man sitting at the computer next to his window, glaring at the tree the bomber was in. The blond rolled his eyes again and started writing a reply.

'_Well I would but I hate that guy. And even if I did, he'd just annoy me to death anyway! What am I supposed to do? He'll probably make me play some dumbass game with him or something.'_

Merely thirty seconds passed before Hidan gave him an answer. Tobi's calls had been slowly stopping, but not completely.

'_i dont know humor him or something. just make him shut the fuck up.'_

'_Meh. Screw you.' _Deidara replied angrily.

Deidara growled and logged out, slamming the laptop shut and resting it in a crook where one of the branches split away and upwards from the trunk. He looked down and saw Tobi sitting sadly on the ground.

"Sempai… sempaiiiii…" Deidara could hear him whine, even from up in the tree.

The blond sighed and jumped down, knowing that he would regret this. "Yes Tobi, un?" He asked through gritted teeth, trying to sound calm but just looking plain irritated as hell. Then he noticed that there were several tears spilling out from beneath the orange spiral mask, and the ground was almost soaked. "T-Tobi? Are you okay, un?" He had been caught off guard. He'd never seen Tobi even come close to crying before. The hyperactive ninja had always acted so happy and bubbly, even when Deidara would yell his ass off at him. What in the world could have possibly brought that kind of attitude down?

"Nevermind…" Tobi sniffed at his earlier expression of annoyance. "You wouldn't care anyway Sempai…" He mumbled softly.

Deidara blinked. "What makes you think that?" He crossed his arms.

The older man looked up, and the blond could see the skepticism even through the mask.

"Okay… but still… tell me what's wrong. It makes me feel weird when you cry." He huffed.

Tobi slowly picked himself up and dusted his shirt off casually, sighing. He spun around and moved his mask away so he could rub the tears from his eyes before sliding it back in place, but Deidara didn't get a glimpse at his face. He turned back and started walking towards Deidara, stopping a mere two feet in front of the younger man.

"You'll never care Sempai…" He muttered.

"Who says? Come on, just tell me. It can't be any worse than all that other useless shit you always say around me." Deidara froze. He hadn't meant for that last part to come out. "Tobi, I'm sorry—"

"It's okay. But Sempai… I… I…" Tobi paused and Deidara had to lightly knock on his mask for him to say anything again. He sighed. "Deidara-Sempai, I love you." He said plainly, then turned to walk away.

Deidara's eyes went wide as he tried to process all this. Tobi loved him, Tobi thought Deidara hated him (Which was partially true. The other part didn't like him much either, but tolerated him.), and if Deidara kept his trap shut while Tobi was walking away, said Uchiha(?) would mope around the base until someone finally got pissed enough that they killed him, which would cause Pein to blame his death on his partner, and Deidara would be in major trouble. Then, he recalled Hidan's earlier email.

Well, now or never.

The blond took hold of Tobi's arm and yanked him back. Before the older man knew what was happening, Deidara had pulled the mask up just enough for him to press his lips to the other's. Getting slightly carried away, Deidara took the opportunity when Tobi's mouth opened slightly in shock. The older man was frozen in place, but gradually melted into the kiss, letting the bomber's tongue explore the inside of his mouth. They stayed like that for at least another good twenty seconds before Deidara broke the kiss and ran into the base. Tobi lightly brushed his fingers against his lips, his mask still half over his face.

Inside Hidan's room, the Jashinist had been watching with his eyebrows raised interestedly, a small smirk on his face. Suddenly, his door burst open and a furious blond stomped up to him.

"There! I 'humored him'! Are you happy?!" He yelled, along with another loud stream of curses that the silver haired man would have to keep in mind.

Before Hidan could even give a response, Deidara stormed off, muttering some random crap about going to wash his mouth out with soap, mouthwash, and a shitload of alcohol. Hidan turned back to look out his window again and saw that Tobi was still standing there, unmoving with his fingers still against his mouth. The orange masked ninja was shell shocked, but pleased none the less.

Hours later when he finally decided to move, he realized that Deidara had locked himself in their room. Tobi had to sleep on the couch for a whole week before anyone saw the blonde's face again.

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**So guys, was it good? I think it was my first time writing a TobiDei/DeiTobi, but hey, it had to be done some time. I'm tired now. Imma gonna go to sleep and dream of nice reviews. Please, make a sweet innocent little girl's dreams come true. Review, I'm begging you. (Needs motivation or will lock self in room and die)**

**Bye bye guys! Ame-chan luffles you all! :D**


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